Number 16

Waaaazz uuup people?!

(I'm just bored and try to escape from boredome by doing everything i planned on doing. posting this piece and saying "waaaazz uuup people?!" was one of those things.. so... yeah... there it is)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UwB1y6Pocg

check this out! awesome band!

cya..

Number 15 (BOOYA!!)

i finally took out my sketchbook and tried again painting with a non-wireless pen on a surface without leaving marks, but instead sending the information to this weird screen that you're reading right now. 

so where's the challenge in todays world of art? digital painting is easier than opening a jar of nacho cheese dip, which is frustrating. aarrgh! ..now i got it. hmmm junk food

so yeah.. this one took me i dunno how many hours. well i started at noon when i woke up and then.. uhm... like about 4 hours. it would have been 2 hours if i wouldn't have had a weird start on the hand. 

whatevaa. *yawn*

nighty night!

Number 14

But whats driving me crazy the most is the idea that there must be more behind all that. there's something that i haven't figured out yet. there must be some kinda spirit in us, but what for? i'm kinda like a buddhist sitting around all day waiting for the inspiration, except i don't do it all day long..

i'm off. a pile of homework is waiting to get done..

Number 13

well..
(love that word. there is no "well" in the german language, or if there is, it wouldn't make sense using it like you do in english. life is unfair..)

On the schoolyard you'd find me sitting alone on a bench watching the others running around, smoking, talking, mobbing and so on, trying to understand how they always manage to shut down their minds that long, not caring about the meaning of everything and the unimportance of their "omg! my nail just broke last period!! aahhhh *faint*"-conversations.
sometimes i'm wondering why and how humanity got that shallow, but in the very next moment i understand that if everyone would be as crazy as i am, we would all commit suicide because life makes no sense anymore..but then my next thought would be something like: "then i must be a prophet like jesus.." or "what's better? teaching humanity all the knowledge and wisdom or drop an atomic bomb?"
this whole self-conversation would end with: i prefer just being annie.. just annie.
but no matter how far and deep i get with all the thinking, nature always brings me down to earth again. it does amaze me how everything works in nature and no animal is wondering why it works or if there is a deeper sense behind it. no.. they just sleep, kill, eat, running away from enemies, take a sunbath and then sleep again. life could be so simple! being human is actually the same, it's just way more complicated.
so what's my role in this play? i hate doing the background roles.. i'm at my school's theatre club and didn't had any speaking role this year! why am i in this f*cking club? they could also play nick hornby's "a long way down" without me! so whats the sense behind that? just the participation in a club or the being "social"? i wanna be appreciated.
the difficult thing is: how can i make myself look from the outside just the same as from the inside? or.. well.. i actually don't want everyone to see my wings. it's kinda a secret.. but what if you only have this one secret that makes you special and interesting?
and what if you actually everytime change your mind and it goes like "i want the cool kids to like me".."no i prefer being alone with myself"? i try to let both sides out, but not at the same time. but the "i prefer being alone" side is stronger. my mind doesn't want to leave me alone. it follows me around like a crazy stalker, waiting for another good situation to turn itself on.
but it can leave me alone sometimes. when i'm hanging around with friends, doing nonsense activities and having fun. life is pretty good!
but then again it feels like wasting time. they always say youth is the best time in life. 30 years later i'll say "oh jees.. why didnt i just go to these parties, get drunk and had a good time, instead of sitting around at home thinking about if it would be a waste of time sitting around at home thinking if it would be a waste of time sitting around at home thinking.." and so on and so forth.. but at the moment i find writing this blog more important than dancing and drinking. everyone his own. but if my whole life would be like that, then it wouldn't be a well-used life! i wanna experience everything, traveling to every country and having a dozen kids. i just can't decide.. is there a golden middle? if i'd follow the creative, deepthinking path, i wouldn't earn enough money to follow the other path at the same time. and if i'd follow the other path, i wouldn't find a job that i love..
at this point my thought suddenly stops. my mind is striking. probably because i didn't had my glass of milk yet..

sorry for not getting the actuall point of the whole character problem thing.. i'm still a little over the moon x.x

As soon as you decide which of the 2 paws is the right one, you can be sure that the other one is the left one. (winnieh the pooh)

Number 12

i guess it's the age.. being 17 is not the best time in life. it's filled with doubts and confusion and hate. and i got a big portion of each one of them >.< lucky me..

i hate humanity for being selfish and stupid and i still don't know who i really am and what path i should follow and i'm not as good as i wanna be. plus i hate winter for the gray skies and the cold days and the empty trees that take away all the joy of the day. i wish spring is coming soon and fills my heart with joy and love and hope again. god is my favorit artist, but winter isn't his masterpiece at all..
i wish i could paint the sky like he does sometimes <3 i wish i could paint at all! but all i do is putting lines and colors on paper that don't really match the picture in my head.. sometimes i wish my brain is connected to a printer instead of two left hands.

annie

Number 11

my summer was pretty cool.. i didn't work on my super uber cool project that i was actually planning on doing, because it's too much work and since i am the god of lazyness and felt way too overwhelmed.. well... to make it short: its too much.
yes i bought a hamster.. i actually bought two.. and as you probably know from school 1 + 1 = 5. or 1 + 1 = 3,5 if you take a baby hamster as a half one xD
so yeah.. jamie became a mommy of 3 adorable little baby hamsters! you can check out my photos on deviantart if you want to.. http://ibreathe.deviantart.com/gallery/#Hamsters (all of those photos are with the babys except the jamie dehamster photos.. thats obviously jamie)

so yeah.. while caring about my room mates i painted a toscana picture for my grandparents.. pretty boring picture to paint <.<
at the moment i'm working on a sunrise or right before sunrise picture with a wide field of grass lying in the wind and a really dark blue - green sky. it's gonna be a beautiful picture. i'll probaly put a girl in the picture too.. with her dress and hair flying in the wind and a blue flower in her hand (because we need to put a symbol of one of the art periods in the picture and i obviously choose romanticism with caspar david friedrich as my example.. i love him and i think i'm related with him.. since we have the same last name and i can copy his paintings almost perfectly.. that would be too awesome x.x) and.. where were i? oh yeah and she's like looking towards the stripe of light at the horizont. it's a cold picture full of lonelyness.. i love it. i love being alone and i love cold mornings and sunrises and wind. and the blue flower is a symbol of love, eternety and longing..

what else.. my next youtube vid will probably be a mr. ian watkins drawing. i think after drawing marilyn monroe, johnny depp and david cook, i got enough subscribers.. means now i can draw whoever i want and still get enough views. i'm not sure if i'll ever record me while painting on canvas.. it takes a while til its done and after "finishing" the painting i spend 2 more months correcting the mistakes and details and everything until its perfect.. but maybe someday i do a speed painting of pikachu or whatever and then i'll post a video about it on youtube.

uhm.. what else? i'm pretty good at school. better than expected. all the teachers say that your marks go down in class 11 and 12 but i actually improved from a C to a B xD
its because in germany you get marks (grades) from 1 to 6 (1 as the best, 6=worst) and in 11th and 12th class you get points from 1 to 15 (15 = best). and i prefer working hard for a high number of points than a 1. it's understandable isnt it? so my average is about 10 now. yeaaahh i'm smart =3 without actually practising at all xD how cool is that?

thats it for now..

greetings from jamie (she was starring at me for like 3 minutes oO)

Number 10

I feel bad... i always hurt people by saying bad things.. mostly prejudgement without actually knowing a shit.

like "i start to not like the band that much, because of this fake personality. it really seems to me that you have a manager who tells you what to be like and that sucks. or its because of ian. the leader. with his weird trend, that isn't really a trend but in ians definition it is because even no trend is a trend. that is confusing and even he is unsure about his trend. but probably its the manager. i wouldnt expect such consufion from ian. well.. i would. he should grow up and deside what he wants! jeees.." (posted on jamie's blog)

i'm just a stupid little girl that doesnt think about what to say and what not.

i apologize.

Number 9

Dear diary,

no one cares.

I think I stop blogging and try fighting against my lazyness and start making this awesome video I've planned and maybe some art.. depends on when i get to the mall and buy some paint.. i hate watercolors and need something better to work with on canvas.

peace.

annie

this it is, what?
i keep on rocking till i die
cant quit, what?
until i'm falling from the sky
this is it, what?
i keep on rocking till i die
and if i never make than at least i tried.
(loztprophetz, here comes the party, track 4)

xD awesome one.

Number 8

I'm a teenager, fighting with teenage problems and roundhousekicking around to keep distance from everyone that could criticize my individuality. Yes, life's tough. I'm thinking of writing a book about it.

..to be continued...

Bananie

Number 7

Since I have problems really continue dairys because my handwriting sucks or I never have a pen handy or the pages in this little dairy are uncomfortable small, I will declare this Blog thing as my dairy.





(this will not include privat information about who I am. I'm Annie, you know my age and I will have a hamster. You can find my video production on youtube and some of my drawings on deviantart or my dozen Ian drawings on some Lostprophets fan pages as fanarts. That's all you will know about me. Every post will be about my thoughts, feelings and discussions)

Number 6

I just realized that I never want to become famous.. nobody can handle a big amount of success. no one.
marilyn monroe - suicide
elvis presley - suicide
curt cobain - suicide
everyone really famous that you can think of, is totally into drugs because otherwise they couldn't handle the success..
me as myself, i really dont want to be that famous that everyone knows me and expects me to be like they want me to be. i actually hate that. i hate that when others tell me what to be like and how to act right. i am myself and i'm proud of it and if anyone has a problem with that then it's their problem and not mine. fame.. what can you buy with it? can you buy love with fame? i dont think so.. no... it destroys you.

i just want to be me and i want to live my dream.



in honor of phil defranco who just announced giving up his youtube career.

Number 5

I hate goodbyes.

I don't hate the goodbyes I have to go through. But I hate those moments when others say goodbye to each other and tell each other all those touching feelings that just makes you cry because it is so emotional.. It touches you soo deep to see others cry so hard..
I never have a hard time saying goodbye to someone I love because if I really love this person, I know that I will stay in contact and that it is not the end. And there are just very few people that have their own little place in my heart.

What I find very sad is this moment when you go through your school where you've had good and not so good times, experiences, adventures and a lot of fun. And you realize that it will never be like this again, no matter if you visit this school in a year again. You expect that it is like it has always been, but all you find is a building without all the people that you used to have around you, and you feel like a stranger. You don't miss the friends, no.. you miss the time. your friends get older, like you. But as soon as you get out of school, the memory doesn't get old, it doesn't grow with you. It stays the same age in your head, while it is aging for others at the same time..

It's a strange feeling..


Piero

Number 4

my hostmum just gave me a reason to get bored. my hostdad and me were watching a very interesting science program until my hostmum came in and switched to "so you think you can dance" <.< and that sucks! I prefer watching some scientists taking the DNA of t-rex and trying to clone him. that's much more fascinating than some guys jumping around and do stuff you will never be able to do because when you are an creative artist, who sits around all day drawing, your body is already too lazy to move like that. i can do one simple "i just stand on my hands and my head and put my legs up in the air"-breakdance trick, which i'm very proud of but already start to forget how that worked without losing balance...

anyway. i hope they can clone a dinosaur someday. that would be too awesome!

master of disaster

Number 3

Now I'm 149016 hours or 6209 days old, which is the same as 887 weeks or 203,6 months or 17 years. but I prefer 16 years and 12 months because the 17 sounds too adult like and I still feel like a 16 year old teenager.. and time is an illusion anyway so it doesn't matter.

Annie

ps: my brother is the best brother in the world

Number 2

the number 2 has an important meaning to me (i just need a nice beginning for the blog before i go to the part where i actually say something..). i have two parents, two ipods, two videos on my youtube channel (http://uk.youtube.com/user/BlueSkyProduction go check it out!!) and this and that and blah.

what advice would you give to a young artist, who wants to create her own style of drawing, but thinks too logical to draw abstract or far from photorealism?
or is it a lack of imagination? a fear of free expression? a lack of self confidence?

can you accidently be vegetarian? or is it sort of like a religion you must believe in to be one?


annie

Number 1

Since I'm not very creative in finding titles or names for things, i'm just going to number all my blogs, vlogs and other stuff that needs a title. I named my ipod nano "Nano". isnt that creative and random and totally not related to the name of the ipod version?

But I'm creative in finding names for pets.
I'll get a hamster in summer and there are thousands of hundreds of names going through my hairy head. phil (after youtubers 'philinthecircle' and phil defranco), oliver (jamie richard oliver's last name), starbucks (because its awesome), vincent (after this crazy painter who cut off his ear because he was crazy and frustrated. i just love him), marvin (after the always depressed thing in 'the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy'), roofis (after the naked mule in kim possible) and charlie brown (after charlie brown).
But i think i'll name him phil vincent oliver. because it sounds cool. you will definetally hear a lot about the hamster and i even think about making vlogs with him as my assistant. because youtube loves hamsters and i'm smart.

anyway. i'm annie and this is my blog.

go check out my youtube account and subscribe! i'm planning a whole bunch of really cool videos and vlogs and drawing videos and other really awesome stuff. so if you like creative professionell looking videos that dont make sense but are really cute, amazing, inspiring, touching.. or vlogs in which i talk about god and the world, psychology, music, art and other stuff or if you love cute hamsters and cant get enough of hamstervideos, then go and subscribe. i would appreciate it and i promisse i will not disappoint you.

http://uk.youtube.com/user/BlueSkyProduction

at the moment i dont have the time to talk about everything, but i will write at least ten blogs a week in summer, when i'll return to my home country called germany which is located in the middle of europe and..is the country were i'm from. i'm in the last ten percent of my highschool year in california. its tiring and pissing me off sometimes and i really look forward to going home to the place where i belong. i mean, its really cool, exiting and amazing. but i'm just sick of it. summer is full of awesome plans. i'll get my hamster while i'm working on my secret video which will be the breakthrough in my career (or however you wanna call it), i will do some vlogs and blogs in which i will express my frustration about the humanity or when i have one of my 'i'm random and weird and talk funny about random and weird stuff'-days i will express my randomness and make accidently everyone laugh. and i will do party with friends and stay straight edge without actually trying, because i dont like drugs and i dont like dead animals and sometimes there are days when i dont eat them at all. instead i eat fruits all day and the very next day i notice that i was vegetarian the last 24 hours. that makes me feel good. because i like animals and i really dont want to eat a killed one. i know that they would kill it anyway, but i dont wanna support that.... sometimes...

chicken and beef for president!!!


ok thats enough. i dont wanna overload you with quality.

peace.
love.
cheese.

annie